LGBTQ Hogwarts Headcanons

notlostonanadventure:

Coming Out

When you come out as a Hufflepuff, they throw you a goddamn feast. You also get a literal T-shirt and a hug from everyone. Also a couple invites to the “prefect’s bathroom,” if you catch their drift. 

Ravenclaws congratulate coming out with, of course, books. Not just any books, but the gay history of the Wizarding World. Pages and pages filled with prominent, openly gay/speculated witches and wizards who changed the world and the history of the magic LGBT rights. You will know where you came from as a Ravenclaw.

Gryffindors throw you a rager: a party flowing with butterbeer, fireworks and firewhiskey (yep, the prefects look the other way on this one). Plus, expect Fred and George to slip you some gum that might accidentally turn your face rainbow. All in good fun.

You don’t have to come out as a Slytherin, they find you. Rumor has it the Slytherin gays are an incredibly tight-knit group, more exclusive than the Slug Club. Not only will they look out for you, they’ve got connections in every career. Gay Slytherins are set for life. 

Inter-House Gay Life

The Room of Requirement is the most well known safe space for LGBT students. Every house has intolerance and bullies, and sometimes you need a place to get away between classes. Plus, it makes inter-house hookups pretty easy but you have to reserve your spot weeks in advance, especially during finals week. 

Ravenclaws actually made a physical gaydar. It’s a small, stone-like talisman that glows in the presence of other LGBT people. The stone changes colors depending on said person’s orientation. Ask them nicely and they’ll get you one.

Students who want to experiment will find a Hufflepuff first. They’re used to it and they can keep a secret without holding it over your head.

There’s a joint Ravenclaw-Slytherin project that’s been going on for years now: using the Polyjuice Potion as a base, the students are working on an elixir than can allow for permanent and continuous gender reassignment. Snape was floored, and Slughorn has promised the students working on it that they can expect positions at St. Mungo’s once they get their N.E.W.Ts

The Three Broomsticks actually has a drag night where students can play bingo, drink discounted butterbeer, and network with other LGBT witches and wizards. That being said, you don’t want to go to The Hog’s Head’s “Meat Night” unless you’re an adult wizard with…”peculiar tastes.”

Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs like to debate which house figured out Dumbledore was gay first. Dumbledore never acknowledged it openly, but he did start a weekly knitting circle with the students where they drank and spilled tea.

Slytherin drag shows are a sight to behold. Your jaw will death-drop.

The Gryffindor stairwell to the girl’s dorm recognizes soul, not genitalia. There’s an urban legend of a first year that unwittingly followed her (then his) older sister up to her room on the night of sorting. When the stairs didn’t reject her, surprise was followed by tears and a very long embrace.   

Heads of House protecting their LGBTQ students

McGonagall had a plain and simple zero tolerance policy, and offending students were lucky if they spent just an entire semester in detention. 

Snape always looked out for his pupils of all orientations, punishment involved brewing the nastiest potions where even the fumes had disastrous side effects.

Flitwick lectured you to death on the struggle LGBT wizards and witches have endured. Most students got off with a robe-length essay on intolerance due weekly. Particularly nasty students were given a choice to spend their weekends and nights helping Hagrid or Madam Pomfrey (they choose Pomfrey).

Pomona Sprout had the same punishment for all: one full day of Mandrake repotting. They learned quickly. 

Slughorn was the cruelest of all: if you screwed with one of his prized students, he’d find out your dream job and get you blacklisted. Permanently.  

About the HP characters

The students took bets over whether Harry would ask Cedric or Cho to the Yule Ball. 

The students took bets over which Weasley Harry would end up dating. 

Fred bet on Ron, George bet on Ginny. Ginny bet on Fred. Ron never found out.

Percy was surprised that there were significant odds on himself.

Luna neither confirmed nor denied her bisexuality. It was never anyone’s business, as far as she was concerned.

However, she did speak up when people thought she had a thing with Hermione and Ginny. She said they were both lovely, but for obvious reasons it would never work.

Ginny responded to said rumors by overtly flirting with her in the hallways, much to Harry’s confusion.